I didn’t always know or follow the Lord. I was raised Catholic and went to church almost every Sunday, but never had a personal relationship with Jesus. I attended a Catholic all-girls school for most of my adolescent years from the age of thirteen to seventeen. During school, we attended church once a week. Yet, as many times as I went to church, my heart was still far from His. I admired Him, but it was always from afar. I didn’t think I could ever be close to Him. Sadly, I thought He didn’t know who I was, much less love me as a daughter!

I always had many questions rolling in my mind about God. When the time came to get confirmed through the Catholic Confirmation class, I got in trouble for asking how Jesus’ blood could release forgiveness. I guess in their eyes, I was seen as blasphemous for asking questions. In response, I was told I had to memorize two more (lengthy) prayers. I, of course, did, but, in the back of my mind, this made me believe there was something wrong with me for wanting to know more. I was told that I couldn’t get confirmed and -eek- my mom had to pay off the priest to allow me to get my certificate! In our minds, that certificate meant I was on the “right” path and one step closer to going to heaven. We didn’t see it as a tradition or just a certificate. I had a “work-based” mindset, working to get the Lord’s attention. So, I got confirmed and we (my family and I) were happy. I had check-marked one hefty duty on my life list!

Years later, my sister introduced our family to a nearby Christian church, and soon after, I felt led to give my life to the Lord. Eager to learn more, I wanted to take the “next step” and learn to speak in tongues. I attended a conference and to my surprise, God zapped me with His power! I felt the power of the Lord so strongly that I shook in His presence for some time. I didn’t understand what was happening until it stopped. I stood up and felt like a brand-new person. I felt completely clean, filled with love and transformation. It was amazing!

To my surprise, I got in trouble- again! I was told that “we shouldn’t do these things in the house of God; it’s bad to do things that bring attention to ourselves.” I felt even more confused and rejected than ever! I had never experienced this before, and as shy and conservative as I was, I knew there was no way I could have enacted that scene myself!